I just had my first real heart break tonight. It pains to know how much I don’t deserve this heart ache but I should know that it will be more painful if I would not let this in now and if I will not let this consume me now. No matter where I start with my reasons and no matter what I would do to build up my defenses and keep myself from all this pain, I would still end up crying.

Does moving on begin with hating the other person to make all the good memories easier to forget?

Does moving on require me to put off all those stuff that would remind us together?

Does moving on mean getting myself outside my comfort zone and show the world the things that I can do more than what anyone else think?

Will I ever be able to move on from every good and bad things if I would make myself new fond memories with other people?

Will I ever be able to move on if I will keep myself busy in doing the things that I need to do?

Will  ever be able to move on if I will just write and write and write?

No matter how hard I’ll try, I will never be able to move on and my heart will never ever be mended by anything nor by anyone but GOD alone.

In the beginning, He was there and now that it’s ending, He’s still here, always in control despite all my stubborn decisions and choices. At the end of it all, things will always begin with God. No questions asked. Just obey.